Friday, January 27, 2012
Let Go & Let God
We've made it to church the past 2 Sunday's in a row, and are planning on going this coming Sunday! (GO US!). I feel a lot better about all this when I do go, and I really enjoy it! Ethan stayed in the nursery the entire time, so I hope he does good this Sunday too! That is the main reason why we don't go, becuase usually they're calling us out to go get him!
I feel like I'm doing better on my journey to become a better Christian. Its becoming more automatic than it has been for me in the past. Simple things that aren't that big of a deal, but make a huge difference are becoming where I don't have to THINK about what I'm doing I automatically make the decision I think God would like without even realizing it. And to be honest, I kinda like it. No, I really like it. It makes it easier to know right from wrong. If I see/hear something that makes me uncomfortable at first I think "UGH". But then I get a tiny little warmness in my heart and I think that things like that would not have bothered me a year ago at this time. So even though you may struggle with things just make little tiny steps and they WILL add up.
I think the biggest things that I (and everyone else) needs to remember is God has a plan. Don't fight it. Let things happen. That's my biggest thing. Not to worry. Becuase it is true, there's not point in worring about tomorrow becuase it just takes away from today. And that is the biggest thing I have issues with. I'm a control freak, I HAVE to be in control. And thinking that there is a plan for me that is not in my control is really hard. But then I think of how amazing this plan will be and I work hard to let go. Actually, I do have control on God's plan, I can control wheather I go with it, or fight it with my own plan. And really and truly my own plan's never seem to work out lol. Let go, and let God. The simplest phrase that I have the hardest time to go by. I really want to though. So all my readers out there. Today I ask you, to Let go and let God.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
False Impressions...
Went to church today for the first time in a while. I really do enjoy going. I can tell that is something that has really chang in me. I enjoy going to chuch! Now if only I can get my son to enjoy going instead of screaming the entire time we would be doing good.
I really enjoyed the message: Christ in You. The preacher talked about what it means to have Christ in you. He even recalled the moment when he let Christ in his heart. He told us the exact day and circumstances in which he completley turned around and began to live just for God. Even though I agreed with most everything he said. It didn't happen like that for me.
You hear the stories about how people give their life to God and then on that day everything changed. That is unrealastic for me. Do not get me wrong, I do know people who were saved and then on that very day their life turned around. But I really don't think its like that for everyone. I believe that ONLY hearing stories like that could give someone a false impression. Think about the people who are new at all this. Then they try to give their heart to God but then it seems as if nothing as changed. How will they know they're not doing it wrong? I will say I haven't even thought I was doing it wrong but I have wondered WHY i didn't feel different. And I do know, giving your life to God is a commitment where YOU have to do the changing. But from the stories I've heard it leaves an impression of a 180 degree turn around that very day. So I want to share with you all how I gave my heart away:
I PRAYED. It didn't happen all in one day. Not even close. I had Ethan. And I was having some kind of PTSD (not the full montey, but something was out of wack) and I was anxious, scared nervous. So I prayed. I've always prayed. I've always known of God: I was saved when I was 13 and grew up going to church. So this was nothing new. But then I decided I couldn't expect God to help me if I wasn't helping him. So I decided to start looking on how I can do more for him. So I began to read the Bible. By reading I asked question and God started bluntly answering them. When I began to see God answering my questions I put more trust in him. When I was scared/nervous/anxious I comforted myself with his words, and I prayed. And ya know what: it worked. Then I started trying to be a better person (and I'm still trying) and then one day I think about the person I am and I think "Wow, when did that happen." So you see, it wasn't a one day change for me. It was a slow change. It took time, and heck, I'm even still trying. But that's the point: I AM TRYING. And that's what matters right? You try to live through God. And that is what EVERYONE does. No one is perfect. EVERYONE makes mistakes (sins). The more you try the better you'll be. And one day you'll say oh wow, I've changed.
So, no, I didn't make this huge turn around all in one day. But I did change. I still am. So even if you are looking at turning things over to God 100% and are skeptical, THAT IS OKAY! Read the Bible, Ask questions, he'll answer them. Trust him, he'll comfort you. It won't happen all in one day (or ya never know, it might) but don't expect to say a prayer and *BAM* every thing is different. But say a prayer and attmept to change. Like my dad has always told me once you get your mind right, your ass follows. And I beleive it. Once you get one tincey part of your mind on God the rest of yourself will follow. It is the biggest and best change you'll ever make in you life.
I'm pretty proud of the person I am. I know I have flaws, and I know I need to do more. But I am proud that I realize this stuff. And I realize it enough to try to correct myself, and push myself along.
So those are my thoughts for today. I have never thought about any of this until today when I heard the preacher talking. But when I started thinking about it I realized that its the truth. Its not a one day turn around. It takes one day to begin, but it takes a lifetime to prove yourself.
I really enjoyed the message: Christ in You. The preacher talked about what it means to have Christ in you. He even recalled the moment when he let Christ in his heart. He told us the exact day and circumstances in which he completley turned around and began to live just for God. Even though I agreed with most everything he said. It didn't happen like that for me.
You hear the stories about how people give their life to God and then on that day everything changed. That is unrealastic for me. Do not get me wrong, I do know people who were saved and then on that very day their life turned around. But I really don't think its like that for everyone. I believe that ONLY hearing stories like that could give someone a false impression. Think about the people who are new at all this. Then they try to give their heart to God but then it seems as if nothing as changed. How will they know they're not doing it wrong? I will say I haven't even thought I was doing it wrong but I have wondered WHY i didn't feel different. And I do know, giving your life to God is a commitment where YOU have to do the changing. But from the stories I've heard it leaves an impression of a 180 degree turn around that very day. So I want to share with you all how I gave my heart away:
I PRAYED. It didn't happen all in one day. Not even close. I had Ethan. And I was having some kind of PTSD (not the full montey, but something was out of wack) and I was anxious, scared nervous. So I prayed. I've always prayed. I've always known of God: I was saved when I was 13 and grew up going to church. So this was nothing new. But then I decided I couldn't expect God to help me if I wasn't helping him. So I decided to start looking on how I can do more for him. So I began to read the Bible. By reading I asked question and God started bluntly answering them. When I began to see God answering my questions I put more trust in him. When I was scared/nervous/anxious I comforted myself with his words, and I prayed. And ya know what: it worked. Then I started trying to be a better person (and I'm still trying) and then one day I think about the person I am and I think "Wow, when did that happen." So you see, it wasn't a one day change for me. It was a slow change. It took time, and heck, I'm even still trying. But that's the point: I AM TRYING. And that's what matters right? You try to live through God. And that is what EVERYONE does. No one is perfect. EVERYONE makes mistakes (sins). The more you try the better you'll be. And one day you'll say oh wow, I've changed.
So, no, I didn't make this huge turn around all in one day. But I did change. I still am. So even if you are looking at turning things over to God 100% and are skeptical, THAT IS OKAY! Read the Bible, Ask questions, he'll answer them. Trust him, he'll comfort you. It won't happen all in one day (or ya never know, it might) but don't expect to say a prayer and *BAM* every thing is different. But say a prayer and attmept to change. Like my dad has always told me once you get your mind right, your ass follows. And I beleive it. Once you get one tincey part of your mind on God the rest of yourself will follow. It is the biggest and best change you'll ever make in you life.
I'm pretty proud of the person I am. I know I have flaws, and I know I need to do more. But I am proud that I realize this stuff. And I realize it enough to try to correct myself, and push myself along.
So those are my thoughts for today. I have never thought about any of this until today when I heard the preacher talking. But when I started thinking about it I realized that its the truth. Its not a one day turn around. It takes one day to begin, but it takes a lifetime to prove yourself.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Jibber Jabber....
Not much to say today, but I feel like I'm going behind on my once a week post and I feel like its time to post.
Book Review:
I just read my So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife by Sara Horn. I highly suggest it. ESPECIALLY if you're trying to be a homemaker. It does get slow at points but its still a great read. She does many different ministries for military wives (I'm hopefully going to one of her retreats in May!!). But when you see these people up there you seem to think they have some kind of super powers. Okay maybe not super powers, but it just seems like they have it all, and they can do it all. I mean I know nothing is perfect but seeing the people preach about their lives and how they've been touched by God. I mean I can't really help to think that their lives must be pretty smooth. Well, deep down I know better (I don't want anyone reading to take offense) but really, its easy to think like that. But in this book Sara has a husband who had been laid off, and she had never been a 'homemaker'. In the beginning she decides that she's going to try to be like the wife mentioned in Psalms 31. She talks of all their struggles, and her struggles with juggling her ministries, her writings, her husband's joblessness, being a mom, AND taking on Proverbs. I kind of went into reading is skeptically thinking that she was going to make this miraculous turn around and become this wonderful homemaker (predictable). But it wasn't like that at all. You have to read it. There is a turn around, but not as predictable as you would originally think. And this makes me even MORE excited to see her at the retreat. I can hear her preach about how wonderful God is and then KNOW that she has had hardships, she has struggled to juggle God, job, and a family. I cannot wait. So yes READ IT.
Whats going on with my resolution:
Mind: Read 3 of my 52 books so far. Doing good in school, too, but its just an intro class so nothing is too stressful so far!
Body: Ummm..... Stay Tuned :-)
Soul: Yes, the only thing that REALLY matters. A radio station here called K-Love is having a 30-Day Challenge, only listen to Christian music for 30 days. So far I'm doing pretty good. If you have Direct TV the channel 826 "The Praise" is a more contemporary Christian music station, I leave it playing pretty much all day!
As for my volunteering, I filled out another application and emailed a lady on Camp Lejeune but still no replies. I'm going to have to find more resources!
I'm still reading my Bible every night. I'm doing the 'moment with scripture' plan that is on my phone. I wish it was more of a study, so after I read it I can read something that can explain it better. But I get most of it. And I think I've pretty much read it every night (right now I can't think of a time I skipped) so YAY ME!
Book Review:
I just read my So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife by Sara Horn. I highly suggest it. ESPECIALLY if you're trying to be a homemaker. It does get slow at points but its still a great read. She does many different ministries for military wives (I'm hopefully going to one of her retreats in May!!). But when you see these people up there you seem to think they have some kind of super powers. Okay maybe not super powers, but it just seems like they have it all, and they can do it all. I mean I know nothing is perfect but seeing the people preach about their lives and how they've been touched by God. I mean I can't really help to think that their lives must be pretty smooth. Well, deep down I know better (I don't want anyone reading to take offense) but really, its easy to think like that. But in this book Sara has a husband who had been laid off, and she had never been a 'homemaker'. In the beginning she decides that she's going to try to be like the wife mentioned in Psalms 31. She talks of all their struggles, and her struggles with juggling her ministries, her writings, her husband's joblessness, being a mom, AND taking on Proverbs. I kind of went into reading is skeptically thinking that she was going to make this miraculous turn around and become this wonderful homemaker (predictable). But it wasn't like that at all. You have to read it. There is a turn around, but not as predictable as you would originally think. And this makes me even MORE excited to see her at the retreat. I can hear her preach about how wonderful God is and then KNOW that she has had hardships, she has struggled to juggle God, job, and a family. I cannot wait. So yes READ IT.
Whats going on with my resolution:
Mind: Read 3 of my 52 books so far. Doing good in school, too, but its just an intro class so nothing is too stressful so far!
Body: Ummm..... Stay Tuned :-)
Soul: Yes, the only thing that REALLY matters. A radio station here called K-Love is having a 30-Day Challenge, only listen to Christian music for 30 days. So far I'm doing pretty good. If you have Direct TV the channel 826 "The Praise" is a more contemporary Christian music station, I leave it playing pretty much all day!
As for my volunteering, I filled out another application and emailed a lady on Camp Lejeune but still no replies. I'm going to have to find more resources!
I'm still reading my Bible every night. I'm doing the 'moment with scripture' plan that is on my phone. I wish it was more of a study, so after I read it I can read something that can explain it better. But I get most of it. And I think I've pretty much read it every night (right now I can't think of a time I skipped) so YAY ME!
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