Went to church today for the first time in a while. I really do enjoy going. I can tell that is something that has really chang in me. I enjoy going to chuch! Now if only I can get my son to enjoy going instead of screaming the entire time we would be doing good.
I really enjoyed the message: Christ in You. The preacher talked about what it means to have Christ in you. He even recalled the moment when he let Christ in his heart. He told us the exact day and circumstances in which he completley turned around and began to live just for God. Even though I agreed with most everything he said. It didn't happen like that for me.
You hear the stories about how people give their life to God and then on that day everything changed. That is unrealastic for me. Do not get me wrong, I do know people who were saved and then on that very day their life turned around. But I really don't think its like that for everyone. I believe that ONLY hearing stories like that could give someone a false impression. Think about the people who are new at all this. Then they try to give their heart to God but then it seems as if nothing as changed. How will they know they're not doing it wrong? I will say I haven't even thought I was doing it wrong but I have wondered WHY i didn't feel different. And I do know, giving your life to God is a commitment where YOU have to do the changing. But from the stories I've heard it leaves an impression of a 180 degree turn around that very day. So I want to share with you all how I gave my heart away:
I PRAYED. It didn't happen all in one day. Not even close. I had Ethan. And I was having some kind of PTSD (not the full montey, but something was out of wack) and I was anxious, scared nervous. So I prayed. I've always prayed. I've always known of God: I was saved when I was 13 and grew up going to church. So this was nothing new. But then I decided I couldn't expect God to help me if I wasn't helping him. So I decided to start looking on how I can do more for him. So I began to read the Bible. By reading I asked question and God started bluntly answering them. When I began to see God answering my questions I put more trust in him. When I was scared/nervous/anxious I comforted myself with his words, and I prayed. And ya know what: it worked. Then I started trying to be a better person (and I'm still trying) and then one day I think about the person I am and I think "Wow, when did that happen." So you see, it wasn't a one day change for me. It was a slow change. It took time, and heck, I'm even still trying. But that's the point: I AM TRYING. And that's what matters right? You try to live through God. And that is what EVERYONE does. No one is perfect. EVERYONE makes mistakes (sins). The more you try the better you'll be. And one day you'll say oh wow, I've changed.
So, no, I didn't make this huge turn around all in one day. But I did change. I still am. So even if you are looking at turning things over to God 100% and are skeptical, THAT IS OKAY! Read the Bible, Ask questions, he'll answer them. Trust him, he'll comfort you. It won't happen all in one day (or ya never know, it might) but don't expect to say a prayer and *BAM* every thing is different. But say a prayer and attmept to change. Like my dad has always told me once you get your mind right, your ass follows. And I beleive it. Once you get one tincey part of your mind on God the rest of yourself will follow. It is the biggest and best change you'll ever make in you life.
I'm pretty proud of the person I am. I know I have flaws, and I know I need to do more. But I am proud that I realize this stuff. And I realize it enough to try to correct myself, and push myself along.
So those are my thoughts for today. I have never thought about any of this until today when I heard the preacher talking. But when I started thinking about it I realized that its the truth. Its not a one day turn around. It takes one day to begin, but it takes a lifetime to prove yourself.
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